Write off
Neglect, accumulate, dread. Start from scratch.
The dreaded pile
I’ve noticed this vicious cycle of mine:
neglect an area of my life;
accumulate to-dos there;
as the pile grows, so does the dread of approaching it;
because of the dread, neglect the area even more;
accumulate even more to-dos;
…
Eventually, find myself like this:
Writing off
Ideally, I’d want not to accumulate stuff in the first place: say “no” to more opportunities, be more productive 🥵, watch fewer documentaries about airships, and spend less time choosing the previous example in this sentence.
However, life happens. In this case, the goal is not to make things great (improbable anyway) but to prevent things from going Hindenburgianly wrong.
What has been working for me is writing things off and starting from scratch. Let me give you an example.
Daily not daily
At our company, we have a practice of asynchronous dailies. We work remotely and don’t have mandatory recurring meetings (except for monthly all-hands), so these daily messages are essential for both coordination and empathy:
Ideally, we’d want everyone writing these messages every workday. Three times a week is still fine. Anything below this number during a full working week is not good.
Here’s how my chart used to look 😬:
The problem was that if I missed one day, I felt the pressure to do not just the Today and Tomorrow sections, but also Yesterday. And with every missing day, the scope grew:
Neglect → accumulate → dread → and so on.
Then, at some point, I allowed myself to write off all the previous days, pretend they never happened, and always write about today and tomorrow.
At first, this felt like a self-betrayal, but eventually, I had to admit that’s the only viable way I’ve found to get me back on track. Here’s the same chart with my latest 11-week streak 💪:
The total number of days covered is now actually higher, despite me not ever writing about the days before.
Other examples
Here are a few other examples where I apply this strategy of writing off:
To-read bookmarks: once a ~year, I delete them all and start from scratch.
Group chats: sometimes I scroll past 253 unread messages and start following the conversation from today (don’t tell anyone).
Manual data collection: I accept that some past periods are missing and move on.
I still feel a bit uneasy every time I write something off, but the feeling gradually morphs into a huge and long-lasting relief.
Try it.
Favourites
Things I’ve been fascinated by lately:
🎬 (5 mins) In Warsaw, tap water quality is protected by clams 🐚. I wasn't expecting a Tom Scott video filmed within walking distance of my home!
📚 (624 pages) Have I told you I like airships? “Empires of the Sky” by Alexander Rose is a captivating tale about the time when it was far from obvious if airplanes or airships would be the vehicle of the future.
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Hi to everyone coming from TLDR.tech and sidebar.io! Quick heads-up: my essays here go beyond my career in tech. I hope you’re okay with that (:
Thanks to Yuliya, Valentin, and Colby for sharing their own letter-to-Hogwarts stories. Call it survivorship bias or confirmation bias, but I admire people who make their own luck.
This was issue #4, find more at antoniokov.com.
Have you faced the same vicious neglect → accumulate → dread cycle? How do you prevent it from spiralling out of control?
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