Recently, I’ve realized that some the qualities I cherish in people seem to be mutually exclusive.

And not in an obvious way: you’d expect the Venn diagram of nerdy and sporty people look like a half of the Audi logo, but why should the same be true for responsible vs. playful?

Here are three examples below. If you know people who possess the combo, tell them they’re awesome (use a mirror if needed). I want to be like them when I grow up.

Joyful and dependable

Like every creature with mirror neurons, I love being around joyful people.

With time, however, I’ve learned to especially appreciate radiant people who take care of themselves and others.

It’s much easier to be chill when someone else — parents, partners, colleagues, taxpayers — does the heavy lifting for you.

What hits hard? A toothy smile from a working dad that has put a kid to sleep after three “encore” lullabies. A hilarious (and completely uncalled-for) pun from someone who’s stepped up to arrange her best friend mom’s funeral.

Being dependable without losing playfulness is the ultimate win.

Ambitious and warm

Speaking of wins… I love watching ambitious people. Not only your Kobe Bryants but also your Alex Carusos, folks who strive to be exceptional in their role.

Now name five ambitious people you personally know. How many of them can you describe as “warm”? If the number is over 0.5, congrats!

It’s extremely challenging to break the “ambitious → competitive → ruthless” chain, especially given the prevalent role model type.

Let’s celebrate winners who are kind to their opponents, founders who take care of their employees, and politicians who campaign out of love, not hate.

Particular and open-minded

Who can be sexier than a person who knows exactly what they want — whether it’s using a particular brand of water when making coffee or taking their Wednesdays off instead of Saturdays?

I know who. A particular person who’s not stuck in their ways. Someone who understands that everybody’s changing and, thus, constantly tries new things to figure out what makes them happy nowadays.

It takes two?

While each of these combos are extremely rare to find in a single person, I know a few couples that possess both qualities, just spread up among the two of them.

Perhaps, something to consider when looking for a spouse (or a co-founder). As a plan B, at least 🙃.

This was issue #18, find more at antoniokov.com.

What extraordinary quality combos do you look for in people? Reply to this email and share your thoughts.