Ask Anton anything #1
Social battery, favourite Taskmaster contestant, future of newsletter.
This week, I’m taking a break from essays and answering your questions instead.
Tanya asks:
How do you manage social interactions balance, being an introvert (I guess?)?
Ha, good question! On the “how much soical interaction makes you happy” axis, my window is pretty narrow:
too little -------------(sweet-spot)----------> too muchFor most of my life, the balance leaned towards too much, and I had to carve out time to spend alone and recharge. This chiefly meant saying “no” to people and activities (and to living together with my then-partners).
Nowadays, I live alone and work remotely, so fewer social interactions happen on their own. The tables have turned, and I sometimes have to pursue social interaction.
I’m genuinely curious about people (am I an introvert?), so meeting someone over breakfast/coffee in a quiet place is my cup of tea.
With groups, it’s more tricky. I’m uncomfortable with parties where a well-meaning person assembles their awesome friends in one room, gives everyone a drink, and says “and now, make friends!”. I tried again recently and was among the first to leave.
My solution to this is to ensure the gatherings I attend provide enough context for people to know each other. For example, I’m typing this from Białowieża Forest that we are exploring with a group of mostly strangers.
At some point, it also dawned on me that I can attend just the right party if I’m the one hosting 😅. I’m a big believer in team games bringing people together, so that’s what I do.
Maria asks:
What country had the biggest impression on you?
Okay, we are on to a dangerous territory. It’s kinda two countries, Israel and Palestine. My short trip in January 2019 had a lasting effect on me.
I learned plenty about the history of Abrahamic religions (had never realized they all have the same root until then), the world, and myself.
Walking the streets of divided Hebron with first Jewish and then Arab guides gave me the two perspectives I carry to this day.
Someone asks:
Who is your favourite Taskmaster contestant?
Victoria Coren-Mitchell is my celebrity crush.
It’s hard not to fall in love witha smart and kind, confident and self-aware woman with a great sense of humour.
Will you continue with the newsletter?
I will.
Just as I hoped, it’s helped me to write (and, thus, think) more. It sparked wholesome interactions with both people I admire and people I’ve never met.
don't stop the newsletter! one of your posts might have already changed my life (dataset too small but if the effect sticks i'll get back to you non-anonymously)
There is one caveat, though. I have to admit that the weekly schedule is unsustainable. It typically takes me two 3-hour long focused sessions to write a decent essay, and I only have six of those sessions a week. And I have a full-time job, let alone other pet projects!
Let’s try once every two weeks instead. Do I have 25 things a year I deeply care about and want to share with you? We’ll find out.
See you on November 14! As Stephen Dubner puts it:
Take care of yourself, and if you can, someone else too.
This was (weird) issue #9, find the usual essays at antoniokov.com.